I never imagined how the name of a person can go against him/her till the 1993 Bombay blasts happened. I was sitting at my home waiting for a friend of mine to call me and tell me the time we would be meeting for dinner. Like everybody else in my family, I was glued on to the television watching the news; Bombay (now Mumbai) had witnessed serial blasts a couple of days back and was subsequently having communal riots. I asked my dad, “What does communalism mean?” He answered patiently but honestly, I did not understand a word of what he said.
Just then I got a call from my friend and she told me that she will not be able to meet me for dinner as her parents had asked her not to meet me or even speak to me. I was speechless and my mind went back to the last few days, thinking what I had done wrong. Just a week before that day, I had gone to meet her at her home and I had had a friendly conversation with her parents. A thousand thoughts went through my mind and none were convincing enough; never in my life earlier, had I been so desperate for answers.
Ten days later, she came to my house with her mother and to my surprise, her mother asked me why I hadn’t visited their house for more than a fortnight; once again I was speechless.
Her mother was visiting my house for the first time and I noticed that she was looking around for something but I had no clue what it was. Suddenly, I heard a very excited tone in her voice and in a single instance; I got answers for all the questions that were puzzling me for the last 10 days. I also suddenly understood the meaning of what my dad told me while explaining the word ‘communalism’. She told my mom, “Oh you have a temple in your house, so you are a Hindu; that is so wonderful and I am so glad. Why did you then choose the name Suhel for your son? It creates so much confusion about your son’s identity…”
While I was happy to see the smile on the faces of the daughter-mom duo (although I am sure both had different reasons for the smile on their face), another set of thoughts started troubling me. If my last 10 days were nothing less than mental torture, then what do Abdul, Karim and Rizwan go through every single day of their lives? Abdul, Karim and Rizwan were some of my closest friends from school and people whom I had known for more than a decade. I am still not sure what they feel about how the rest of world treats them because of their names; I never had the courage to ask them but I am sure it is not a very good feeling.
So many events have taken place since then - whether it is Godhra or the riots after that, all just made me believe in one thing – secularism is not about being non-communal. Secularism is about treating all around you with equal respect and not judge the people by their name; religion or caste. There is nothing worse than living a life where you are judged and discriminated against based on your name; religion or caste and I sincerely hope that everybody understands this sooner rather than later...
Just then I got a call from my friend and she told me that she will not be able to meet me for dinner as her parents had asked her not to meet me or even speak to me. I was speechless and my mind went back to the last few days, thinking what I had done wrong. Just a week before that day, I had gone to meet her at her home and I had had a friendly conversation with her parents. A thousand thoughts went through my mind and none were convincing enough; never in my life earlier, had I been so desperate for answers.
Ten days later, she came to my house with her mother and to my surprise, her mother asked me why I hadn’t visited their house for more than a fortnight; once again I was speechless.
Her mother was visiting my house for the first time and I noticed that she was looking around for something but I had no clue what it was. Suddenly, I heard a very excited tone in her voice and in a single instance; I got answers for all the questions that were puzzling me for the last 10 days. I also suddenly understood the meaning of what my dad told me while explaining the word ‘communalism’. She told my mom, “Oh you have a temple in your house, so you are a Hindu; that is so wonderful and I am so glad. Why did you then choose the name Suhel for your son? It creates so much confusion about your son’s identity…”
While I was happy to see the smile on the faces of the daughter-mom duo (although I am sure both had different reasons for the smile on their face), another set of thoughts started troubling me. If my last 10 days were nothing less than mental torture, then what do Abdul, Karim and Rizwan go through every single day of their lives? Abdul, Karim and Rizwan were some of my closest friends from school and people whom I had known for more than a decade. I am still not sure what they feel about how the rest of world treats them because of their names; I never had the courage to ask them but I am sure it is not a very good feeling.
So many events have taken place since then - whether it is Godhra or the riots after that, all just made me believe in one thing – secularism is not about being non-communal. Secularism is about treating all around you with equal respect and not judge the people by their name; religion or caste. There is nothing worse than living a life where you are judged and discriminated against based on your name; religion or caste and I sincerely hope that everybody understands this sooner rather than later...
1 comment:
Even I have some very good friends who call their God by the name of Allah. I also feel bad when people have prejudices against them. Like always, really appreciate and support your thoughts. We should judge people by their behaviour and deeds and not by names, religions, caste or creed.
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